As a relationship coach, I work with many people who wish to strengthen their relationships and live with greater awareness and intention as they strive to keep their relationship vibrant, fun and loving. The common complaint I hear is, "This is great when we are working with you and have this focused time to explore our challenges. We can hold onto what we learn here for a week, maybe even a bit longer, but our lives get complicated and after a while, we slip back to our old patterns. How do we find the time and/or remember to keep this going?" This is a terrific inquiry, and while there are many tips and tricks you can incorporate, my answer usually focuses on some specific practices you can easily incorporate into your life.
- Speak a vow to each other at the beginning of each day: this works particularly well when you wake in the morning if you can coordinate your schedules. (see my blog entry: A Post-Wedding Vow)
- At the end of each day acknowledge something you are grateful for with your loved one, even if it has been a difficult day between you…it might be how grateful you are that you are able to work through things, or trust that you will come together again.
- Make a specific time to get together at least once a week…make this time sacred i.e a "date night" or a special time after the day is over that you chat without TV or other distraction.
- Find a time to focus on the relationship separate from “date” night. Monthly is usually reasonable, and weekly if you can fit it in is terrific! Use this time to either create a shared vision, or to explore relationship philosophy by read a book on relationships, or discussing how you can each listen better to one another.
- Finally, remind yourself that you and your spouse, partner, friend, lover or family member, are human and will make mistakes. The simple truth is that neither you or your loved one would do anything to intentionally cause pain.

As a wedding officiant, I speak with many couples about their hopes, desires and dreams for their wedding day. While if not asked that help us ensure we are a good fit for each other.
A Wedding Officiant that is a
guide and "co-creator" of your ceremony is most likely to help you
create a meaningful, unique and personal ceremony. Here are some
questions that can help you discern if the person you are speaking with
can achieve this.
Finding and Selecting a Wedding Officiant is an important part of your wedding day planning. This is the person who will help you to create what is considered to be, by many, as "the heart and soul" of your wedding day. The ceremony not
only sets the tone for the entire day, it establishes the foundation
for the next phase of your life together as a married couple. Selecting
the right officiant therefore is an important decision and a process
you should begin fairly soon after establishing your wedding date.




Laura and Brian were married at the Harvard Club in Boston and as their wedding officiant, I was blessed to co-create with them both a memorable and unique ceremony. From the moment guests arrived they were welcomed by the beautiful Celtic Harp Stylings of
As a wedding officiant who customizes ceremonies, I often work with couples who create their own rituals or adapt rituals for their wedding ceremony (which is itself a ritual!). Rituals such as the Unity Candle, Handfasting, Rose Ceremony, Breaking of the Glass, Water Ceremony, Ribbon Cutting and even the Ring Ceremony, all come from a rich religious, cultural or spiritual context. However, sometimes because of this association, or any number of other reasons, they do not "feel just right" for people.
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